business is just an excuse

an excuse for not doing what we really want to do

an excuse for not meeting up with friends

an excuse for not spending more time with precious ones

an excuse for 'i-dont-know-i-cant-really-think-of-any'

cause i realised that despite having so many things going on in my life concurrently

everything falls in place nicely

except that that i often forget to put in meal breaks

which isnt a very good thing, you know why

its like, if you really want to get things done

you will find time for it no matter how busy you are

of course, it cant be helped that timings do clash sometimes

other than that we'll achieve nighty percent of what we want

april's almost here

nearing three months of this full fledge break

its certainly packed with stuff

tired i may be sometimes

but im totally enjoying myself

be it work or other activities

relief teaching

two tuition kids

admin work at tuition centre

volunteer weekly

driving lessons

viola lessons

piano lessons

and alumni prac which ended with a concert in march hols

fulfilling indeed!

i just got to be thankful for all this

perhaps its my way of escaping all those fretting

business is not the word

i just hope all the late night pays off

something good has comes out of this

it has to.

perhaps mine planning ahead is doing more harm than good 

i shouldnt be thinking and worrying and leave it up to fate

afterall i always tell my kids

slowly, be patient ... time will see that your hard work pay off

at that age, yes

but as you grow older time doesnt go your way

and as much as we want things to go our way

we also have to expect that it often doesnt

I NEED TO SCREAM!

and i want to see those happy pills tmr

but appt clash 

and unfortunately only they can make my gloomy thurs bright:(

an observation of mine

most people around me are in a desperate bid to get in a relationship

in my very opinion

getting into a relationship isnt the toughest thing

what most difficult is resisting to get into one

it isnt that difficult to get into one

tempting it may be

even when we tell ourselves that our min. requirement is this and this

but at the end of the day

our heart soften when one goes out of the way

or simply, gives more attention

cause affection and acknowledgement and acceptance are what humans crave for

not just in a relationship

but also friendship or in a classroom or in our workplace

why dont we look out into the world

not just the people around us

but beyond that

the people in our society

instead of being on the receiving end

we have so much within us to offer

and when we give selflessly 

we'll actually receive much more, trust me

cause just a slight nod or a smile

can tug your heartstrings

and as i was planning my schedule for next week

i realised that most of my time are spent 

with those that i have known for a few months

its time for more meet up

lunch shopping and dinner dates

ive been neglecting them

its the things in common that make relationships enjoyable

but the little differences that makes it interesting

GOSH...my days are packed

with stuff going on back to back

and im trying to squeeze a little time for everything

at the same time doing my best to have quality time

and not rush through them

im trying hard to convince myself that im not busy

although failing quite badly

afterall its all up to the mind

how busy one is

its about planning my time well

and enjoying every moment of business

it cant be helped

cause i was suppose to be free

but all these activities are not mandatory

and besides i enjoy them

i've planned a whole list of people to meet up with

people that i should have met since the start of jc life

but somehow along the way

didnt really got down to it

a whole list of places to visit 

and i barely strike off half the list

besides that, i havent been spending much 'me' time

except that i last remembered i had been watching movies 

for a consecutive no. of 

but somehow im crowded with stuff to be able to do that

quite disjointed post

but ah...rushing around makes me feel like that all the time

exciting stuff this week:))

ironically, i never felt this free before

free as in busy/free  and  freedom/free

im near burnt out
something which is not suppose to happen 

since its supposed to be a break i promised myself

:(

why cant i go back on promises

why did i promise so much in the first place

why did i even entertain the thought of letting others down

why didnt i think about myself first?

why am i so upset with myself in the first place

i didnt realised i was upset till someone told me right in my face

'why do you look so unhappy today, tired ah?'

i wanted to cry there and then

but as usual, the kids did wonders:)

yes, i wanted it so badly

cant i just have it

on a happier note

this girls did managed to lift my mood little too

happy birthday sweeet!

love from spore to indo then to macau:)

my girl showed me her whole collection of stickers

and even giving some to me

i told you 

she knows i love them:)

now, talk about me and stickers

HAHA

why the reluctance

what's stopping me?

i've been sure of what i want

except this

urgh!

it wasnt great results

but im just thankful for it

for it could have been worse

i was neutral, neither feeling hapy nor sad

but more worried about those who had not done as they had expected

i dont know 

i just hate this thing about others being upset

and i cant bear to see them cry or hold back their tears 

it hurts

thanks for telling me that i should be happy instead of just neutral,

for lifting my mood cause i really would have started tearing then

and everyone else who was genuinely concerned:)

it feels like a great load off

it never felt this good

that this phase of life have ended

ps. do let me know if you know anyone who teaches viola