i dont know

but i suddenly feel this overwhelming fear

i could have just chosen the safer route

rather than putting myself through all this

its going to be all worth it.

a wonderful 2008

a year which i cannot ask for more

a year which i devoted myself to everyone except myself

but an even more fantastic 2009 i will look forward to

when i've decided that it will all be back to me and only me

since

"Putting yourself at the top of the list 

so you can treat your body 

with as much as you would give to someone else's - 

and when anyone needs something from you,

you will be operating from a full cup."

looking at the numerous farewells i had

it seemed to be sending me a msg

one of which i've discovered is that

a farewell is only so painful

only cause relationships built has been so strong

and i thank everyone of you:)

so while you think that you'll be going through one

i'll be going through much more

many temp cause i'll be back:)

but a no. of them perm since i dont know how many years more i'll see them

till then

i've begin by boiling barley tea

and drink them when i think of you all:)