i rmb telling someone close to me 

to go for something you really want

then not trying at all 

cause when you look back

at least you would have been certain of the outcome

then not knowing at all

i reallyreally wish i hadnt

then i wouldnt be stuck in this dilema

the unknown would have provided much comfort

much better than this

it started out as one of the plans i have

then realising that it was almost taken away from me

now i want it more than ever

how close i am to have it

and still believing that it was meant for me

it may never materialise afterall

its almost like life is poking fun of me

putting me through test after test

and i stupidly believe that everything happens for a reason

but never seemed to get an answer

ive been making myself terribly busy with work and stuff

hoping that at the end of the day

i'll be too tired and i'll just fall asleep

but somehow

i've been keeping late nights

waking up at six and continue with my twenty hour day

im no superwoman

and its taking a toll on me

just give me this for once

i want it reallyreally badly.