of late i've been in this dilemma

and i dont really have a firm answer to it yet

my dad will tell me that this is a happy problem

cause its not a case of 'you've got no choice'

but rather one with too many choices

so the least i can do 

is to be thankful

cause others do not even have a choice at all

and i've recently though about what i have done this past hols

and i must add that i never felt so satisfied and accomplished

long hours and back-to-back schedules

it plastered a smile on my face like nonetheless

and it seems to take a life of its own

and sometimes i wish i have a double

so that i do not have to reject people

i feel so bad:(

you dont know me well enough 

and you'll ask why do i take up so many assignments and jobs

do i really need money, sorry not at all

there's no point chasing it

(but i grew up from young never having to worry about that

and i have always handled my finance quite well too

thats why i see things this way)

cause its never ending

just be satisfied with what you have

when you chase after money, 

chances are it will go after you 

thats why it quite irks me when people go for a career because of that 

rather than really liking it

firstly, i do not go knocking looking for these assignments

i was recommended and since i feel bad rejecting 

i couldnt help but just take it

i could have said that i was busy

and yes i have done that to quite a few

but so long as my schedule allows

i just accept it

besides most of them are a joy to teach

they'll tell you the craziest thing on earth

make you laugh when you want to start scolding them

and tell their parents they want more of my lessons

when the parents want to cancel lesson so that they could have more rest

now, how can you resist them

in addition to that 

i told myself that in my lifetime 

i must have an office job

so this offer from my aunt came by

and ta-da, im surrounded by employees so stressed out

and thats what the real working world looks like

i sail through it with smiles though

and that prob lighten the mood by a tiny wee bit

helping my teacher at her tuition centre

i get to see every aspect of how a business works

and contrary to beliefs

the ones who appreciates whats done for them

arent adults or people around us

they are kids and strangers

meeting so many people

seeing through their eyes how they see life

the ones who enjoy themselves amid the stress and business

are the ones who enjoy what they are doing

and with passion

everything else comes naturally:)

why do i always make up my mind the night before

spend my whole time before thinking if i've made the right decision

only to have have someone/circumstances forcing me to change it

WHY?!!

its making me so disoriented!

the best thing you could ever hear from a parent

"...you've proven your worth in this short time..."

Thank you:)

you know, when someone lies

we may not know exactly what they are lying about

but their expression and languages will give hints

no matter how well they try to hide it

its often only a matter of whether the other 

choses to let you off or confront you

i bet you didnt know:)

if you were in my shoes

what would your choice be?

i need to see this from another perspective

actually no, i've dissected it from so many different point of views

i can tell you inside out

i just need someone to tell me yes, this is what should do cause it best suit you

and not tell me this and that and leave me hanging

cause you believe i always make the best choice

or either after talking you will have a clearer picture of what you want

and me, as usual, as confused.

please drop this angel from heaven please